Jan 17 / kim Made for more

If I could tell you one thing, one magic thing that would change your life. Maybe one magic abracadabra. Would you do it?  Of course right? What if I told you that it’s not magic. I enjoy spending time with my girlfriends and having time to have a good old girl session.  I sit down with my closest friends and if you talked to any of them they would tell you one thing. If you want to have a pity party with Kim she’ll give you five figurative minutes to lick your wounds and cry.  Then it’s time to get up and dust yourself off and go. Go where? It doesn’t matter! You have to learn to take one step after another and keep on pushing in the direction that you see yourself going in. We all have the points where it just seems too hard. I can tell you that I have those.  Most of my life I have felt like I was never enough. Never good enough for the job, the promotion, college degree. I have spent most of my life in fact self destructing and searching for that person who is me. The more I started doing the work to find out who I was the easier it started becoming to take control of this thing that had held on to my happiness for so long.  Now let me tell you. This process has been scary and exciting and has had it’s highs and lows. I am sitting on a plane right now going to Seattle to meet a friend and a mentor and just sit and talk. Why am I on this plane? I had a feeling I needed to be. I have talked to this wonderful human on the phone and over the internet for almost two years and she has become one of my dearest friends.  I got here on this plane by going by my gut. That little pull on your life that tells you that you need to do something or you shouldn’t do something. We have lost the ability to listen to it.

I refuse to believe that we are unintentional masses of cells just stumbling around on this planet.  We are all uniquely created and crafted in a way that we have this ability to manipulate the world around us.  We can either create it to be something of joy and excitement. We can create it to be something to be something we are eager to face and see what the new day brings, or we can…not.  I don’t know about you but i have spent far too much of my life with my head down in the mud to stay there any longer. My children are getting older and they are turning into these little mini pseudo adults and they need me to be in their corner as they learn how to navigate this world.  i made a promise to each one of them that i would do everything in me to be the leader and teacher they needed to be. No matter how scared i was or sad I was I would show up. I know i have failed a lot but you know what that’s okay. It doesn’t matter that I’ve failed and i am open with my failures to my children now that they are getting to be old enough to understand.  What matters more than my failures is how many times I have picked myself up and dusted myself off and said, “Okay, let’s try this again.” or “this time I’m going to bob when I should have weaved”

Where did we lose this?  This fire. This thing. The PURPOSE.  I don’t know but I know I’m going to do my best to ignite it as much as I can while I have a heart beating in my chest.  If enough of us rise up and realize our purpose and fearlessly chase that purpose this world will change. We have to work to break out of this programming that we have stuck in our heads and go out and do more.   Hey you, the human that is reading this. I have something to say to you. I am not anything special or extraordinary. I am born into a “broken” family, have a “broke” family, and from those pieces that someone put into a category of “broken” we built a family that was restored. I am married to my absolute best friend and I have loved him since I was 15 years old but we didn’t get here easy and we surely didn’t get here quick.  We got here by putting one foot in front of the other and trusting that little pull. Not knowing how or why and I hope more than anything that you get from reading this is that you my friend, are made for more.

This is another attempt at restarting my website and my blog and after overthinking it again and again I decided the direction I wanted to go. I wanted to get to know you. Every single one of you that is reading this and I wanted you to get to know me. So all of my friends out there in internet land. Let’s get to work.